sharpchick_2011: (Caddo solar cross)
Saw the new doc on June 14.

*Love* him. We can have actual conversations. He upped my neurontin, gave me some lasix for the edema (and potassium to replace what the lasix will wash out.)

I can see the bones in the back of my hand and am able to squeeze the ball much harder than in the past.

And tonight, I used my manual can opener to open two cans all by myself. I had to stand at my kitchen table, which is lower than my counter, and brace my left hand against my body, but I did it.

And didn't spill a drop...
Most of the special kiddos in my life have their birthdays in the spring and summer.

So I've been going to a lot of kiddo birthday parties, listening to squealing, screaming, and watching them stuff themselves full of sugary, calorie laden treats.

I can wipe a few mouths, indulge a few kids, commiserate with their parents, and then -

Go home.

I love the grammy role.
Work is still a major source of stress in my life.

At the end of each work day, I get my [very hot] car, exhale deeply and start the A/C.

Then, as I drive home, I visualize all that toxic bullshit collecting in a cloud and exiting through my exhaust system. The cloud gets fainter and fainter the farther I drive.

As I approach my driveway, I envision the circle of white light surrounding the cottage. I pay attention to the flower beds as I walk up the sidewalk, and pause if I see a hummingbird on the feeder.

Then I open the door to my sanctuary. The tension leaves my shoulders and back (in part, because I put my purse down), and I smell the comforts of home.
The journey is good.

It's so wonderful when you learn to let go.



sharpchick_2011: (Default)

May 2014



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